We may go buckwild on Phat Tuesday but Ass Wednesday will always bring us to our knees! It is a day of reverence. A hump day that we may not ever truly - nor truly ever want to get over. Some of us already know that Ass Wednesday is a time for rituals, prayers and worship. Yes, the next time you cry "Lord, help me get over the hump" you may very well find yourself laying at the altar possessed by the Spirit of the Booty!
There's power in the booty ... witchcraft, voodoo and wonder workin' power in the booty! Booty can make us do things that we wish we wouldn't and know we shouldn't. Lord, that big 'ol butt made me do it! We pray to get some ass and some of us even pray to leave it alone. The truth is that a little bit of ass ain't never hurt nobody but many of us have yet to learn that every booty that looks good to us ain't necessarily good for us. No matter where we stand - we WORSHIP THE BOOTY! In fact, if we happen to be of African descent - there's usually lotsa booty to honour & adore.
For it is written "Other men's asses are squared in form/black men asses are round for fun/two half moons of mounds of flesh/hills to climb on and take your rest/sit in my lap and the snake will stir/let me part the water/and find there deep/the sweet secret that you keep."
Oh, the aura and the aroma! Fine incense and rare oils were burning but it still wasn't enough to override the distinct redolence of decades of sweat & hot funky black ass. It was 12 o'clock midnight and the revelry of Phat Tuesday was brought to an abrupt halt. I sought refuge in the No.2 Covenant Temple of E. Long's Butt, where the recently defrocked High Priest Father E. Long, Potentate, officiated the night's services. The soft lights glowing through the mist of the night welcomed me, and I was compelled to pay homage. I walked through the doors and heard the ecstatic low moans of other brothers - down low brothers, Adodi brothers, brothers on the verge, brothers helping brothers out! I walked straight to the altar and the High Priest met me right there. A naked brother from the congregation came forth and bent over obediently for the Ritual of Purification. He spread his resplendent, beautiful butt cheeks and without saying a word, the Priest inserted his index finger into the young man's wonderous ass. He withdrew it and anointed my forehead. He held the finger under my nose so I could inhale the manly essence of a "real sanctified man." He stuck his finger in my mouth and said "Bless you, my son!"
"Turn to the Chronicles, my son. Read from the Book of The Great Taharqa 2nd Chapter: Verse 1" he said. He offered me the book but I didn't take it. I knew the verse by heart and recited it with great devotion. "My tongue knows the rims of black men's asses/my finger mines there for gold/just as dark and bold in the place where the hills parts/when nature made him/bold in ass and color/round and full/from side to side/nature's pride and glory of a job well done."
High Priest Father Long was impressed by my reverence! Just then I heard the orgiastic sounds from beyond the veil, and the cries of pain and pleasure were both intriguing & undeniable. "Do not be alarmed. It's just the boys in the back room" he assured me. "What must I do to go beyond the veil" I lifted my head and asked. "First, you must be saved, my son" he said. "What must I do to be saved?" I replied. "You must loose your life in order to gain it by studying my ass with your wet tongue, my son! You must bury your face deep within the dark recesses of my Magnificent Fonky Black Ass to explore the wonder of my ass and the wisdom of my assHOLE!" he added.
"But first you must offer up a sacrifice at the Altars of the Six Patron Saints of Ass Stankonia and replenish it with the sprinkling of seed" he told me matter of factly.
I knew he was speaking of the Initiation Rites of Repentence. This time I needed the book for the incantations. I didn't know if I was up for the challenge but I heard the roar of approval from my fellow brothers in the congregation as I grabbed the book! Anointed in sweat and semen, some of them fell out and spoke in tongues! I boldly entered into the First Holy Hall of Black Funk! There, I recognized the familiar images of the six Patron Saints ...
O brothers in the life/what right have I to have such delight/as to slowly to take my time/and rub my hands across your ass divine/There are things that are round/the sun the moon the earth/but none is so full/as to bring me down to my knees/from this position to see/face to face your glorious ass I greet/with a smile that it brought out of me.
brother hear me clear/you need not draw near/for I will shout that to worship a black man's ass/is to worship the work of the Gods no doubt/O glorious form, O majestic sweet/I suck the hairs between your cheeks.
let me go down on my knees/let me touch to inspire my dream/what use is my tongue? none/what use are my hands? none/no poem can match what I see/no other ass pleases me
Two men before me/ask me to choose/which this night shall we spend a night of bliss/one is well hung/he say to me/brother I got he tool/to inspire you/and bring you to your knees
the other is smaller/and he said not a word/will you not speak up for my love I ask/he said, what you see is what you get/and turned around/and dropped his pants
lo what is this I see that greets me/never have such sweet cheeks stood before me/never of man was such a glorious ass ever born/never have I lusted so much/as to have these hips/myself to fuck/what God's hands have formed.
I was encouraged by the sounds awaiting me in the Last Holy Hall of Black Funk but I had no more seed to offer. I was finished with the sacrifices but I was physically and spiritually spent. The High Priest Father E. Long, Potentate appeard out of nowhere and exclaimed "You have come through well! You're almost saved my son." He unbuckled his belt and pulled down his pants. "All you have to do now is worship and LEARN!" he said as he turned around and buried his ass in my face. "You are about to enter into a covenant with me and I will teach you how to live a consecrated life in full service and unadulterated faithfulness to the Spirit of the Booty!." His whole ass covered my face and I thought I had entered into the full asscrack of Hell! I felt lost and dizzy as my head spun around every rim and ridge of his rectum. The High Priest was screaming now - long loud and ungodly primal screams.
There were screams of great gratification and religious ecstasy. And spasmic, throbbing screams of discomfort that I knew damned well could only hurt so good. I couldn't tell which scream I was screaming when I woke up. All I knew was that Phat Tuesday was over and so was half of Ass Wednesday. I also knew I'd have to get through the rest of Ass Wednesday somehow. And what better way to do it than to do what I now knew how to do, where to go to do it and who to do it with. I pulled on my my red striped thigh socks and made my way down to the No. 2 Covenant Temple of E. Long's Butt, where the recently defrocked High Priest Father E. Long., Potentate officiated the night services.
All prayers, rituals and incantations were written and compiled by our great brother scribe, David E. Patton over 2000 years ago in Nubia. They are taken from the holy book, The Ancient Chronicles of Assology of Nubia & Cush.
YES!!!
Posted by: Trey | June 22, 2011 at 10:08 AM
WOOF!
Posted by: thegaytekeeper | June 22, 2011 at 12:47 PM
WOW What a journey, Corey! Reading this reminded me of those old school cult classics... Very psychedelic. Very symbolic. How much for the movie rights? LOL
But, seriously, why can't a black man's ass be sacred? I know I have had many genuine spiritual experiences with my own... I have spoken in tongues. I have channeled spirits. All of these things occurred during my journey down The Holy Hall of Black Funk!
Great fiction, Papa!
Posted by: Forbidden Light | June 23, 2011 at 10:00 PM
@Forbidden Light! Fiction? Oh! Yeah! Right! A man who has channeled spirits and spoken in tongues in experience with his OWN ass is MORE than special, indeed!
Posted by: Corey | June 23, 2011 at 10:07 PM
How did I miss this posting???
Posted by: Dale | June 26, 2011 at 11:36 PM